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Maha Nasser: Are the Swedish people inhospitable?

Maha Nasser
Växjö • Publicerad 9 augusti 2022
Detta är en personligt skriven text i Mosaik Vxonews. Åsikter som uttrycks är skribentens egna.

Recently, the hashtag "Swedengate" has spread criticizing the Swedish people as inhospitable. Where many opinions and stories on the topic spread around the world in various languages. Several social media activitس discussed the issue, and several media outlets in various countries of the world also discussed the issue. Which raised the question to many if this is true.

It all started when someone posted a post on the popular Reddit forum and asked a question: What is the strangest situation you've been in because of other people's culture/religion? The post received a lot of interaction and commented on it around the world. One of the commentators said in the comment that the strangest situation he went through was when he was playing with his Swedish friend in his room and while they were playing his mother called him loudly and said that dinner was ready. And his friend asked him to wait in his room until he had finished his dinner.” This comment sparked a worldwide debate about Sweden’s culture. It got people interacting around the world. Many people found this to be a strange culture, and asked if it was true. Many people also accused The Swedes of stinginess. They said, "How can a quiet country and one of the happiest countries in the world be so inhospitable?" Many ask how a family can eat without inviting the guest child who has not eaten his food yet, to share the table with them.” While many Swedes commented on the issue and cited several reasons, the most important of which is the respect of the child’s parents who have already prepared food for their child and want to share food with him. Others said that we do not prepare more food than the family needs, and therefore there is no surplus food to feed an unexpected guest. Some said it was normal, and the strange thing was to feed a child who came to play. Some said that guests should come by invitation. Others said that children had a fixed time to eat so they should be at home at this time, and feeding them at friends' houses would spoil the family order. Most of the Swedes mentioned that it is a matter of respecting the privacy of other families, because they may have prepared food for their child and want to share food with him, and they may get angry if he comes back full, and feeding him may be a hint from them that the family does not care about its child and leave him hungry. The ethnologist Håkn Jönsson says in Aftonbladet "There is a historical dimension to this custom, which is that Swedish society was a peasant society and they needed to be frugal because of the lack of food and that's why the fika culture came, so that people could invite each other to drink coffee but not to eat." Although this is an old custom with its historical and cultural dimensions, it no longer exists and now friends are eating at each other's homes, but people still talk about it.

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For me, this was not new to my ears because this is exactly what one of my friends told me and said that this situation happened to him also when he was young. Of course, one is surprised at first sight from this habit, especially those who come from different cultures. What comes to mind is that it is reasonable that they do not have enough food to feed a child, in addition to thinking about the child's feeling at that moment when a friend goes to eat while he is waiting in the room at the time that he may be hungry. And when we evaluate the situation superficially without knowing the real reasons behind it, we see that this is stinginess!

But my question is to everyone who came to Sweden and lives here and knows the Swedish people closely. Are the Swedish people inhospitable?

Are the Swedish people inhospitable at a time when Sweden opened its borders to hundreds of thousands of refugees from different countries and the Swedes opened their hearts to us before their homes and shared with us their homes and jobs? At a time when many peoples who claim virtue and generosity refused to pass even from their country. Isn't Sweden one of the most generous countries when it comes to providing humanitarian aid? Perhaps it is easy for someone who has not lived in Sweden to say that, but not from those who have met and known the Swedes. I say to those who say that the Swedes are inhospitable people, that the people of Sweden are the best hospitable people. When the Swedes invite you to eat with them, they do not sit at the table before you sit down and choose the place in which you will be comfortable, and they do not take their food until after you take enough food for you. When the Swedes invite you to eat with them, they do their best to serve you the food you like and make sure to ask you what kind of food you like and if you like a particular type of drink, and they respect your eating habit. Since I landed in Sweden everything has been different. I still remember how Swedish people were smiling at me and giving me a warm welcome. When I came I was completely alone, but I was surrounded by Swedish friends who took good care of me. I celebrated my birthday for the first time in Sweden with Swedish friends. I was invited to all the occasions that Swedes celebrated, even those which were supposed to be family ones, I used to celebrate with them and felt myself one of them. They showered me with their generosity, kindness and love. I have not forgotten how the Swedes opened their hearts to me before their homes. I am not in the process of mentioning the advantages and disadvantages of peoples, otherwise I would mention many people who today claim virtue and generosity and whose hearts are full of hatred and racism. The virtues of people emerge when difficulties arise, not when we're all fine.

When we talk about real generosity, I think that real generosity is not that you invite me to a meal at your house. Real generosity is that you treat me like a human being and give me all my rights. Those who say that the Swedish people are inhospitable do not know that the Swedish people do not call the residents in Sweden as a refugee or an immigrant, but rather they call them the new Swedes so that they do not feel that they are less than them or that they do not belong to them. At a time when many people have been living in some countries for more than fifty years and are still paying for the renewal of residency, and called an expatriate.

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